Christmas Party

I just returned from the office Christmas Party. I had a lot of fun, but I can't help but compare it to one in the past. You see, the party occurred in the same room, with many of the same people as one of the parties about eight or nine years in the past. Seeing them, in this place makes me also see the people who aren't there. Including my younger self. It made me want to spend hours with each and every person there. The time I did get to spend was too fleeting.

Maybe, this is a wakeup call of sorts. I have great friends. Many that I love very much. I NEED to make more effort to do things with them, and not just a lunch every now and again. We need to see plays, take in a concert, go to a movie, or out to the park. Recently, I've kept my friends at too much of an arms length.

I need to bring them in for a hug.

Preconceptions and Stereotypes

A few weeks ago, I was at a district event for church. I had the good fortune to see a woman that I had met at General Assembly in 2005. I found out that she was in the process of getting a divorce. Since I've seen her a few times since the meeting at GA, I have had the pleasure of meeting her husband. Though I didn't get to know him well, he seemed a nice enough guy. Talking of her pending divorce, and attempts at dating took me (mentally) back to our meeting. You see, one of the things I remeber from meeting her is her telling me that she was recently engaged.

We met at a session called "Often Left Out: Being Truly Welcoming to Bisexual and Transgender People". (At least one member of the panel was Bisexual, and at least one was Transgendered. The discussion basically centered around how some people, and through them organizations, churches, and companiessay GLBT but think of it as Gay and/or Lesbian (what happened to the BT?).) One woman related a story of a board meeting where a member of the board of a church that was in the process of becoming a Welcoming congregation asked if anyone else on the board knew of any members who were Bisexual or Transgender. The board member asked this directly to the woman, who was openly bi, and married. When the participant replied, "Yes, I am bi." the response was "You can't be. You're married.". The discussion that followed in our class pretty much centered around this idea of preconceptions. Bisexual people don't marry, because they like to play the field. Transgendered people are always interested in people of the same physical sex as themselves (IE homosexual). One man described his situation. His wife of many years was undergoing gender reassignment therapy. When he would be out in public with his daughter, people would react one way, and he was stereotyped as straight. When with his spouse, people reacted a different way and he was stereotyped as gay. He self-identified as heterosexual, but he was very much still in love with the person he had married. This led to the discussion how how do we look at the people that come into the church, into our places of business, and into out lives.

Seeing her brought this all back to mind. I have always tried to be mindful of what stereotypes I may be holding at any given moment. Since then I have really tried to redouble my efforts in this direction. And not just in regards to sexuality. We humans do this because stereotypes make our lives easier. Preconceived notions, developed after gathering the most minimal information, help us decide how to address the situation immediately. We do this based on political affiliation, religious affiliation, organizational involvement, the place of residence, or the music listened to. Everyone does this, though many try to minimize it. As important as that, is to endeavor to be aware when you are making the generality. Becasue if we are aware that we are making the generality, we are that much closer to abandoning it WHEN it proves false, and that much closer to NOT making the generalization again in the future, since it's already been proven false in the past.

So what brings this serious thought up? It's actually a confluence of many things. Another friend whose going through divorce. An email I received today that sets up a date when I will likely see the woman from GA again. The GL and BT panels that the Middle School OWL class went through a few weeks ago. Mitt Romney's recent discussion on religion, and some of the reactions I have heard. The video on "The Click List". Thoughts about the holiday season(So far this one's not going as bad as I feared in the earlier comment.) The post has kinda been on my mind for a little while, though in various different forms.

And in case you don't want to leave with anything this heavy, go here.

Holiday Season

I have a love-hate relationship with this time of year. It's the time of year when EVERYTHING is a deadline. I have deadlines at work and at home. I have deadlines for when to get lists to this person, when to shop for these people, when to be at the school for the play, when to be at church for the pageant.

Now don't tell me that that word doesn't hold the same dread for you. At this time of year I hear it as "Dead"-line. And with so many, I feel like I will surely be dead by the end of the season.

To top that off, I don't like crowds. So any thought of shopping after the Wednesday before Thanksgiving gives me chills. And as much as I know it's the worst day, I can't get myself out to shop for my wife before the last week before Christmas. I just can't decide what I want to get her before then.

Misc.

In my previous post, I mentioned that I went to the Apple store in Southlake. I really like the layout of the "shopping mall" there. Instead of being in an enclosed building, imagine taking the individual stores, and placing them in buildings around the city hall. It was so much nicer then walking around in a mall. There's nothing "radical" about the idea, but it was just really cool to be outside (since the weather was nice). Very relaxed atmosphere.

My wife and I watched "Imagine Me & You" last night. I had seen most of it before, but I picked up a few new things since I had missed the first thirty minutes minutes the first time I saw it. It's an enjoyable movie.

Work is going well, but I miss being able to socialize. I also find that I am not nearly so well informed about the "stupid" news stories, the "man bites dog" variety. I can definitely thank the TV screens at CMG for helping me to answer all of the trivia questions on Wait Wait. A couple of weeks ago, a listener on the show noted that they didn't expect to do to well because they only got their news from NPR. It was so funny because I had noticed how many of the stories they asked questions over had been posted to the CMG TVs the week before.

iPod

While it's not been used as frequently since I got my new job, I still use my iPod for my road trips and occasionally when roaming about the house. On Friday, I learned that the audio jack was malfunctioning. This was something I had begun to attribute to the earbuds I was using, but since it was happening to all of my headphones and audio equipment I knew that that could not be the case. Not wanting to buy another $200 device, I took it to the iPod store in Southlake. I didn't have an appointment, but they squeezed me in. After testing it for a couple of minutes with their equipment, they handed me a new one, and boxed the old one up, no questions asked. I was quite pleased, and quite surprised too. I had expected to be without it for a couple of weeks. Now that's customer service.

Now I just need to start putting a dent in the 9 days of podcast audio that I have built up.

Fall Festival

Today was the fall festival for my kids school. They had a blast, and I overate. There was a dance afterward and it was great to watch the kids on the dance floor. I saw a large group of boys trying to break dance on the floor. My son joined right in. It was great. My daughter hooked up with some of her friends and was out on the dance floor swinging around with her friends until her legs got sore. After that, she either sat in my lap holding onto me, or held onto her mother.

Taking a note from Paul

Ok. I know it's been a long time. Honestly, I have had a busy month. From the last post, everyone should know I have a new job. While that's kept me somewhat busy, I've also been making some changes around the house, cleaning my office, transitioning to new after school duties, driving to Houston, etc. I'll try to cover as much as is relevant. Needless to say, I am finding myself much happier.

While I have been "absent", I have started a few posts. They just never got finished. So I am taking a note from Paul, and just going to write a quick note on a few.

The last post was a testament to Blogspot's spell check and ease of use. I barely even remember composing it, but it was there when I woke up. I've had to correct more grammar and spelling in this post then I have found in that one.

Due to the schedule change at church, I have been able to attend more of the main services. Because it was something I had thought of doing, and because I was hoping to get the youth of the church more involved, I signed up to be a lay leader. To that end, last Sunday, I got up in front of the congregation and led the opening part of the service. I had to spend a few hours last week coming up with Opening Words, and Candles of Memory and Hope (We light this candle in memory/hope of... ). Most of my involvement has been with the youth of the church, so getting up in front of the adults and working with them was a new thing for me.