Loss

At about 12:45 Am this morning, I got a phone call. My maternal grandmother had died.

It wasn't unexpected. She had been diagnosed with cancer(melanoma) of the liver in the late spring of last year. She had a small series of minor strokes that culminated at about that time. While she could communicate, it did impair her speech, preventing her from finding the right word. When she was released from the hospital last June, after the last stroke and the cancer diagnosis, the doctors thought it was only a matter of a couple months at most. I know that those predictions are not always accurate, but the doctor is trying to give the patients and their families a realistic expectation based on the condition that they are currently observing. At this point, i started steeling myself for the inevitable.

Just before last Christmas, she started to take a turn for the worse. She had been losing weight, but all of the sudden, she dropped a lot, and needed help to get around. After Christmas, she started using a wheelchair and using a hospital bed instead of her regular bed. For the last few weeks, she was confined to her bed.

I received the phone call last night, and while not fully awake, I understood.

Like I said, I've had a while to prepare. But you are never prepared.

I miss her.