Monday, May 19, 2008
Forgive Me
I am taking a break. I need to work out some things. I hope to be back soon, but this is taking a back burner for a little while.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Podiobooks
If anyone is curious, I have linked my Podiobooks subscriptions to the right. I started listening to audio books back in college, when Tammy and I would go on long drives to visit family. Most of those were checked out from the library. Before last August, that, and the Harry Potter series of audio books, was the only books I listened to. I now get books from iTunes, from Audible.com, from Podiobooks.com, and for the author's website.
For months after I downloaded my first three audio books from iTunes, they sat on my iPod without me listening to them. It took a drive back from Baton Rouge last August for me to start listening to them. I started with The Secret World Chronicles, which is a superheroes audio book. It made the drive much better. Since then, on my monthly drive to Houston, I always have multiple books to choose from.
And I don't always listen to them straight through. I have two that I listen to as a serial double feature. I download one segment a week of each book, and listen to that segment as a double feature while taking the kids to swimming lessons. Most recently, I have done that with Nawashi and Playing for Keeps, although I finished Nawashi last week, and it's sequel isn't ready. I'll probably start Quarter Share or Murder at Avedon Hill in it's place, and bring in the other one when I finish Playing for Keeps.
For months after I downloaded my first three audio books from iTunes, they sat on my iPod without me listening to them. It took a drive back from Baton Rouge last August for me to start listening to them. I started with The Secret World Chronicles, which is a superheroes audio book. It made the drive much better. Since then, on my monthly drive to Houston, I always have multiple books to choose from.
And I don't always listen to them straight through. I have two that I listen to as a serial double feature. I download one segment a week of each book, and listen to that segment as a double feature while taking the kids to swimming lessons. Most recently, I have done that with Nawashi and Playing for Keeps, although I finished Nawashi last week, and it's sequel isn't ready. I'll probably start Quarter Share or Murder at Avedon Hill in it's place, and bring in the other one when I finish Playing for Keeps.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Love
A lot of things have had love on my mind recently. My kids, my wife, my parents, and my friends, the people that I interact with. On so many levels, I love them all. Sometimes it blinds me. Sometimes it helps me to see.
I had my first girlfriend, Andrea, when I was 16. Yeah, I know it was a bit late for my peer group. We worked together, even though she went to the high-school across town. Wow. What intense feelings I was having. I was giddy. I felt warm when I saw her. I felt nervous and overwhelmed. I couldn't wait to see her. We dated for about three weeks. That's when she started dating someone from her school, and we broke up. It was also intense. I didn't want to be around anyone. I had lots of friends who came to offer their support, and then left to give me the space I wanted.
It hurt. But I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world. I wouldn't admit it at first. At first, I wished that we had never gone out. That way, I wouldn't have had the intense feelings. That way it wouldn't hurt as much. Then, only a few days later, I realized that the feelings that I had been feeling had become a part of me. They had influenced what I had become. Likewise, the pain had influenced who I became. I can still feel those feelings when I put myself back there.
I remember that while I was dating my third girlfriend, Cheryl, I had a conversation with one of my friends who had been there for me when I had broken up with Andrea. He asked me if I felt the same way with Cheryl as I had with Andrea. I had to say no. Did that mean that I had not loved Andrea? No. I knew the feeling. It was different, but I knew both were love.
This is something I have seen many times since then. With every love I have had since then, I have noticed that each feeling was different. Each had the taste and smell and feel and joy of that particular love. I saw a post online pointing out that the Ancient Greeks had many different words for love (Yes, I know that we have adopted at least one of these words into English, but I don't think it is regularly enough used to be considered common). This was an interesting idea, but I had different feelings even within the same "type" of love. My love of my daughter is not identical to my love for my son. My love for my mother is not the same as my love for my father. Each is unique.
What do I believe now? Love does not exist in a vacuum. Any love, whether familial, romantic, self, or other, is evoked. Our memories and thoughts both evoke and color the love. And it's hard to separate them. I'm not even sure it's possible. These memories don't have to be big or grand either. It could be a look, or a laugh. A smile or a sigh. A caress or a comment. Even in the present, when we are with them and making those memories, we are remembering other times. Our minds work associatively.
What about the first time, when we are falling in love? In some ways, this requires a little more definition. How do we "fall" in love. Is it one step, and boom, we're there? Not in my experience, so I can't talk to that feeling. For me, there are things that I feel immediately. My impression of the hairstyle, or body shape, or the sound of their voice. There are things that are less immediate, but definitely short term. Jokes, stories, interests that catch my attention and evoke a feeling in me. There are things that influence me over the longer term. Like actions performed or stories told that are directed at, or mindful of, me. Somewhere in there, I see parts of me. And somewhere in there, I'll see complements to me. And as I store these events away, a love is built.
In many respects this seems like a "Duh, that's obvious" thing to me. This is something I have thought about for a long time, and indeed, due to my prepping for the service last Sunday, it had come up again. Still, that wasn't enough to provoke this entry. It was a comment someone made about being disrespectful that provoked it. I sent off a short email, and then went to bed. But my mind didn't stop thinking, and when I woke up, I had to write. To be disrespectful of our love for someone, we would have to trash those memories. Or forget completely. We don't need to do that. We all have so much capacity to love. We can keep our love for one person, and still find room in our hearts to love others.
I had my first girlfriend, Andrea, when I was 16. Yeah, I know it was a bit late for my peer group. We worked together, even though she went to the high-school across town. Wow. What intense feelings I was having. I was giddy. I felt warm when I saw her. I felt nervous and overwhelmed. I couldn't wait to see her. We dated for about three weeks. That's when she started dating someone from her school, and we broke up. It was also intense. I didn't want to be around anyone. I had lots of friends who came to offer their support, and then left to give me the space I wanted.
It hurt. But I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world. I wouldn't admit it at first. At first, I wished that we had never gone out. That way, I wouldn't have had the intense feelings. That way it wouldn't hurt as much. Then, only a few days later, I realized that the feelings that I had been feeling had become a part of me. They had influenced what I had become. Likewise, the pain had influenced who I became. I can still feel those feelings when I put myself back there.
I remember that while I was dating my third girlfriend, Cheryl, I had a conversation with one of my friends who had been there for me when I had broken up with Andrea. He asked me if I felt the same way with Cheryl as I had with Andrea. I had to say no. Did that mean that I had not loved Andrea? No. I knew the feeling. It was different, but I knew both were love.
This is something I have seen many times since then. With every love I have had since then, I have noticed that each feeling was different. Each had the taste and smell and feel and joy of that particular love. I saw a post online pointing out that the Ancient Greeks had many different words for love (Yes, I know that we have adopted at least one of these words into English, but I don't think it is regularly enough used to be considered common). This was an interesting idea, but I had different feelings even within the same "type" of love. My love of my daughter is not identical to my love for my son. My love for my mother is not the same as my love for my father. Each is unique.
What do I believe now? Love does not exist in a vacuum. Any love, whether familial, romantic, self, or other, is evoked. Our memories and thoughts both evoke and color the love. And it's hard to separate them. I'm not even sure it's possible. These memories don't have to be big or grand either. It could be a look, or a laugh. A smile or a sigh. A caress or a comment. Even in the present, when we are with them and making those memories, we are remembering other times. Our minds work associatively.
What about the first time, when we are falling in love? In some ways, this requires a little more definition. How do we "fall" in love. Is it one step, and boom, we're there? Not in my experience, so I can't talk to that feeling. For me, there are things that I feel immediately. My impression of the hairstyle, or body shape, or the sound of their voice. There are things that are less immediate, but definitely short term. Jokes, stories, interests that catch my attention and evoke a feeling in me. There are things that influence me over the longer term. Like actions performed or stories told that are directed at, or mindful of, me. Somewhere in there, I see parts of me. And somewhere in there, I'll see complements to me. And as I store these events away, a love is built.
In many respects this seems like a "Duh, that's obvious" thing to me. This is something I have thought about for a long time, and indeed, due to my prepping for the service last Sunday, it had come up again. Still, that wasn't enough to provoke this entry. It was a comment someone made about being disrespectful that provoked it. I sent off a short email, and then went to bed. But my mind didn't stop thinking, and when I woke up, I had to write. To be disrespectful of our love for someone, we would have to trash those memories. Or forget completely. We don't need to do that. We all have so much capacity to love. We can keep our love for one person, and still find room in our hearts to love others.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Infected - A book review
I just finished reading Scott Sigler's Infected.
I have to say. I normally don't read horror, and Sigler is known for horror. This one was, in my opinion, more sci-fi thriller, with a bit of gore thrown in. Yes, it was really graphic, and yes, I winced and protected myself from time to time. I even had to put the book down a few times because it was that graphic. But I always picked it back up an hour or a day later (time permitting).
I bought the book through a link from podiobooks.com a site through which I have downloaded many novels for my iPod. I am linking through them, in the link above, because they earn money for each book sold through their link, and I want to support them. I am also linking through their site because the audio book is available there. Listening to the audio book for free was an option. In fact, I was able to download the pdf of the book thanks to one of Siglar's promotions on other podcasts like EscapePod. I bought the book because I wanted to support the author.
In a nutshell, the story alternates between the stories of CIA operative Dew Phillips, a former NCAA football player Perry Dawsey, and the CDC team led by epidemiologist Margaret Montoya. Montoya is trying to figure out what the disease is. Is it a terrorist agent? Is it something ancient that has been unearthed? Dew Phillips is trying to apprehend someone who is infected, while keeping the body count down. The infection makes people paranoid and homicidal. The infected individuals kill family and friends, often violently. Perry Dawsey.... is infected. He's dealing with the symptoms of the disease. Including it's thoughts.
I have to say. I normally don't read horror, and Sigler is known for horror. This one was, in my opinion, more sci-fi thriller, with a bit of gore thrown in. Yes, it was really graphic, and yes, I winced and protected myself from time to time. I even had to put the book down a few times because it was that graphic. But I always picked it back up an hour or a day later (time permitting).
I bought the book through a link from podiobooks.com a site through which I have downloaded many novels for my iPod. I am linking through them, in the link above, because they earn money for each book sold through their link, and I want to support them. I am also linking through their site because the audio book is available there. Listening to the audio book for free was an option. In fact, I was able to download the pdf of the book thanks to one of Siglar's promotions on other podcasts like EscapePod. I bought the book because I wanted to support the author.
In a nutshell, the story alternates between the stories of CIA operative Dew Phillips, a former NCAA football player Perry Dawsey, and the CDC team led by epidemiologist Margaret Montoya. Montoya is trying to figure out what the disease is. Is it a terrorist agent? Is it something ancient that has been unearthed? Dew Phillips is trying to apprehend someone who is infected, while keeping the body count down. The infection makes people paranoid and homicidal. The infected individuals kill family and friends, often violently. Perry Dawsey.... is infected. He's dealing with the symptoms of the disease. Including it's thoughts.
Bible Quiz
I'm sure that just about everyone I know can do better. I really need to read it.... I think I at least got points for knowing my gender....
You know the Bible 72%!
Wow! You are truly a student of the Bible! Some of the questions were difficult, but they didn't slow you down! You know the books, the characters, the events . . . Very impressive!
Ultimate Bible Quiz
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Thursday, May 08, 2008
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
True Then, True Now
“When any society says that I cannot marry a certain person, that society has cut off a segment of my freedom,” - Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in 1958.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Busy busy busy me
Fun fun. I am behind on a project for work, so I will have to put some time into it this weekend. But I am attending a conference on Ministry with Youth this weekend, and that has allocated almost all of my time. What time I still have left is dedicated to coordinating/planning/prepping/rehearsing the youth/participatory service that I am Lay Leading on Sunday at church.
So, if you're trying to get in touch with me, I promise I will get back to you. Probably by email. Probably at 2:00 AM or after Monday morning. If you're calling, I guess I'll feel like Kelly's dad, because I'll be ignoring the phone most of the day.
And if you're participating in the service with me on Sunday, congratulations on finding my blog! You'll have to tell me how you did it. But not now. Take your final draft and start practicing in front of that mirror over there.
And if it's after Sunday when you see this....well, hopefully it went well. At least the harshest critic will be at the lectern.
So, if you're trying to get in touch with me, I promise I will get back to you. Probably by email. Probably at 2:00 AM or after Monday morning. If you're calling, I guess I'll feel like Kelly's dad, because I'll be ignoring the phone most of the day.
And if you're participating in the service with me on Sunday, congratulations on finding my blog! You'll have to tell me how you did it. But not now. Take your final draft and start practicing in front of that mirror over there.
And if it's after Sunday when you see this....well, hopefully it went well. At least the harshest critic will be at the lectern.
First of May
Well I missed it. Since April Fools, I was kind of looking forward to posting a song I found last year (in late May). One would think that after a friends trip to the zoo, I would have remembered. I'm going to post it anyway, since it's only a day late.
The song is First of May by Jonathan Coulton. He has a number of other songs available on the site.
By the way, the song is not necessarily safe for work. It may upset the sensitive and arouse questions in the young.
The song is First of May by Jonathan Coulton. He has a number of other songs available on the site.
By the way, the song is not necessarily safe for work. It may upset the sensitive and arouse questions in the young.
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